Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bratty Slave Contract

Okay.. before I post this I want to acknowledge that this is probably going to push a few buttons.. but too bad. It is a joke. It makes me laugh. I am sharing. Enjoy and laugh.. or move along. I am posting because nyxie was nudging me again, and I found something cute to share. I will post something more.. pertinent.. hopefully tomorrow.

Love y'uns!


Bratty Slave Contract

1. Master is always right, except when He isn't. When He isn't the slave has the obligation to bring to Master's attention His incorrect perceptions and false notions, and then make fun of Him till the slave can boast that she has corrected Him for the 100th time.

2. The slave has the right to hide any of Master's toys she does not like. Master then has the right to use the toy on the slave. if He can find them. Ehmmmm. which He won't.

3. The Master may be under the impression the slave has done something she should not have been doing. The slave may then point out that not only did she not do such a thing, but also is under strict obligation to tell Master who did it, and Master is to believe her even though He knows she is lying.

4. The Master owns the slave totally and has all rights to her body and complete say over how she behaves. The slave has the right to respectfully and politely request things of her Master, over and over again if need be With the help of throwing tantrums and looking adorably cute, plus pouting till He finally gives in. But Master cannot punish slave for all of the above.

5. The slave is to please her Master with every deed and thought she has.(even if it might be evil and naughty) and is to bring to Master's attention that this does indeed please Him, even if He says it doesn't, which of course he is fibbing.

6. The slave has the right to sign this contract on Master's behalf, so as not to bother Him.

7. The slave has the right to add to and amend any of these points, upon consultation with Master, even if He is not present for the consultation.

8. Master has the right to use the "Because I'm bigger than you" reason for His actions at any time. The slave then has the right to try and talk Master out of it, in which He will give in and let slave do as she pleases.

9. The Master is to remember that His slave is a sweet innocent angel at all times. AT ALLLLLL TIMES...heh.

10. The slave has the right to remind Master that she is totally guileless and above reproach. Everything she does she is to do for Him and she can also remind Him of that fact even when she has screwed up - it's all Master fault that she did cause He was not there to guide her.